Maybe people need to be numb sometimes. It is like a defibrillator that shocks the heart to stop it for a while, to give it a chance to beat again.

what's the point in writing and sharing your thoughts when nobody's interested to read and listen to your stories?

i am not a good writer

i am not even good at composing sentences using words with deep meaning

im not good in speaking english
i am not a good student

i have nothing to share
my life is boring

i have nothing to brag

i dont have a
beautiful skin
sexy body
i dont have a boyfriend

no one really cares for me except my family because i know they're obliged to take care of me.

i have friends but they go with me for they need me, because maybe they earn something from me.
maybe boys admire me for they want to play with my feelings.

bitter much? nope. it's just that reality bites.

sometimes when people treat me differently, i can always see myself thinking that maybe,

if i were as beautiful as my sisters boys will not treat me bad and play with my feelings.
if i were as intelligent as my sisters i will not be an average student in my class.
if i were as sophisticated as them people will not degrade me.
if i were as talented like them i will not be booed on stage.

before i go to sleep, i always imagine myself as a different person. a person with a healthy body, updated knowledge and a perfect outlook. but those things only happens in y dreams and imaginations.

for i am me an ordinary girl with a boring life and nonsense stories.